Happy New Year

If I were Camp Commandant I would enforce the following New Years resolution:
No more use of the F-word and no more beards. These two things are so commonplace here.

The F-word piece really grates on my nerves, especially when used by those in leadership positions. It is used as a comma in this community and it is a childish expression of the "specialness" that these folks obviously feel they embody, without any regard to the disrespect it conveys to the unbearded, clean speaking people around them. It really sickens me.

The songs that occur to me

That wonderful Cole Porter standard "I Happen to Like New York" keeps playing in my head:

I happen to like New York
I happen to like this burg
and when I have to give the world a last farewell
and the undertaker starts to ring my funeral bell
I don't want to go to heaven
Don't wan't to go to hell
I happen to like New York.
- Cole Porter (1930)

Mail male adventure!

Thrills! I was going to walk to the North DFAC for a little variety. I ran into the Mail Males, backing up the mail truck. "It's hamburger night at the North DFAC! Hop in!" And so I did. This was my second hamburger that I have eaten here. Apparently on Sunday nights the North DFAC adds, and I know this is crazy, seasoning to the beef! I didn't really notice any difference, to be honest, but this wasn't about the food, this was about the company. The Mail Males only had 22 minutes, that's all the Lead Mail Male's OCD would allow. We had a few laughs then it was back to work.

Christmas here

I was alloted some personal time on this day, so it was out on the PTGB. The day was bright, mild and dry. A Santa from a HUMVEE waved as I passed. I stopped by the crowded DFAC and had only a light salad and a piece of apple pie, with, most importantly, a strong cup of tea. At dinner I had some steamship round with raw onions. I am not motivated to eat mashed potatoes and stuffing and gravy and cake.

I have been reading a John Keegan book, which is part of the PQP, so I was grateful for the opportunity to have some quality reading time at both meals.

What a catch!

You know you have a great man in your life when he sends you Emergen-C vitamin packets! Thank you Richard! Here, Emergen-C is like cigarettes in prison! I use it everyday to prevent that low-grade-I'm-coming-down-with-something feeling. It works, as my mother would attest.

Rumors of snow

This image was captured in the Commonwealth of Virginia a couple of days ago. My mother's backyard appears to have been transformed.

A special thanks to my mother who created a stupendous array of Christmas cookies that I will share with the world on Christmas Eve. Until then, I will enjoy the taste of those pecan bars made with real butter, those booze-imbued mini fruit muffins, and those jam and almond cookies.

I am still working out in the morning, wearing shorts. It has so far been a mild winter.

Ah, the Mail Males

The soldiers on my compound who work the mail room are a bunch of characters. I insist that they greet me with what I call the "salutation": "Welcome to the Mail room!" And they do it, the only thing that they need to work on is separating my mail/packages from the pile. They still haven't got that one down. Today I was reading a pile of Christmas cards that kids had made. Some of these cards are hilarious, some like sublime haiku, some totally misspelled. Why do the teachers allow the misspelled cards? It is because the teachers are sleeping on the job or that the liberal establishment has so thoroughly infiltrated education, so that every child's misspelling is seen as a beautiful thing?

Father Christmas

Yesterday the Chairman shook my hand, and placed his command coin in the grasp. I couldn't help but think of Father Christmas.

German snafu

At the beginning of November I picked out some gift items for my grandmother, and other family members, at the airport in Liepzig. A month and a half later, the gifts have not arrived. Well, so much for gift-giving. The German shop owner is endeavoring to find the DHL tracking number, but my hopes are not high. If my grandmother ever receives that package, the enclosed advent calendar will have lost its relevance.

The tumor of tobacco

I am blessed to have a Navy O3 (LT) here, a fellow whom I met back in Fort Jackson, in my Afghanistan world. In stark contrast to my Iraq deployment, where the Navy O3 in my life was a disgrace, this guy, Mike M is a gem. Mike is a bright, no-shit fellow with a history of coaching his boys' football team, and preaching to his students. I am sure in his Texas hometown he is an institution. He is a friend, I feel I can say, always with a wad of Red Man chewing tobacco in that gob of his, off to the side, so like a tumor. I promised him on his last day, a few months from now, that I will, in his honor, try a bit of Red Man.

House sitting in Seminole

Richard is going to move to Florida and house sit! Wow, that is going to be quite an experience for him. The house he will be living in will probably sell in five months or so. I admire that fact that he is going to check it out. The house is a block from the beach (Tampa Bay).

Working the PQP

Sundays are professional development days, for the most part. I have been focusing on completing the Professional Qualification Program (PQP) which is a requirement that I need to fulfill within a certain time frame for promotion. I have a few more chapters left. I have been fortunate to have a someone with Fleet experience in Anti-Submarine Warfare as an instructor/facilitator for the most recent chapter. It's amusing learning about submarines in Afghanistan.

"Shipmate, mind if I sit with you?"

These are the words I uttered to another woman in a blue (smurf) Navy sweat suit. Her year long tour was done. In a few days she will be going home. Her tour was a tough one, traveling outside the wire (though she can truly say that she has seen this country), interracting with police, taking fire, returning fire, her SUV teetering on a fulcrum that turned out to be an IED (in the distance the triggerman running away because the trip wire disconnected). She's up for O6. "If you ever need anything, I'm at the Pentagon."

Farewell to a shipmate

IS2 was a reserve sailor with me in Iraq, then shifted over to Afghanistan when I did. It turns out that he was supposed to be home in September, but he didn't know it. How can this be? The Navy issues us demobilization orders when it is time to go home. The Navy cut IS2's tour back much shorter than expected, but no one had communicated this to him. (We are supposed to periodically check the Navy/Marine order writing authority on BUPERS to see if our orders have been modified, which I do from time to time.) IS2, I hope for his sake, caught a flight out of here a few hours ago. Then he will return all his gear, visiting all the stations he had to on the way over here, just as I will. I believe the process takes an additional week to "demob."

The new cool table

It is midrats again where this phenomenon occurs. I once again build this coolness out of, this time, a rag-tag group of contractors. Here you will find the Earl of Sandwich, a charming hypochondriac fellow with a fixation on building the perfect sandwich, methodically with all the trappings of OCD. God bless him. That's okay Earl, I can play. We had a competition the other day. He created a double-decker egg affair. Won in the breakfast category. But the Earl is onto something, with this sandwich ritual. I like the BLT, I have weened myself off of the biscuit. The Earl and short-timer Bob the Skoaler find my excessive use of tomatoes upsetting.

Let us give thanks

Another stunning day. After a walk this morning I waited in line for entry into the north DFAC. As I was waiting in line, two ranks filed on to the gravel parking lot, formed up. Someone yelled "Kentucky ADT!" Sure enough, elements of my old Kentucky home were on the ready. It wasn't until I entered the serving line did I realize that they were volunteering as servers (augmenting the KBR folks). Good on you, Kentucky.

The KBR staff was dressed in pilgrim and Indian attire. The dining hall was filled with a lot of spirit and excellent decorations. Life size pilgrims, Indians, and turkeys. Egyptian officers were posing next to these statues for photo ops. While at the salad bar, Rick, a shipmate of mine, asked me to join him and another sailor at their table. It was great to catch up with them. Both of them are ready to turn in, but stayed up for the Thanksgiving pageantry.

This is the lunch meal- my breakfast. I am more accustomed to the intimacy of the BBQ DFAC tent, which was closed today. Now I understand why. A lot of manpower goes into this Thanksgiving production.

The snow globe

The mountains around me are dusted with snow, a truly beautiful sight, and particularly clean and clear after the rain we had the day before. All this viewed from the Pink Tactical Girl Bike. I returned splattered with mud, which added to the fun. I thought that I would do a few free weight reps on my way back to the B hut. There was an admiral, doing his reps, with man-sized weights, hopefully he didn't notice that vertical mud stripe that ran up the seat of my sweat pants. I'd rather be outside doing something than contracting a case of ringworm in the gym.

Josephine Tey, or Gordon Daviot, or Elizabeth MacKintosh

I am surprised to learned that I am enjoying this mid century Scotish mystery author, Josephine Tey, one of two pseudonyms used by Elizabeth MacKintosh. I have been quite obsessed with her work. I read a few chapters before I turn in. I started Brat Farrar (1949) last night, and recently finished Miss Pym Disposes (1946). Fiction has found a place in my heart over here.

That 4-1/2 hour difference

I operate on ZULU (GMT) time, but often coordinate with friends/events that operate on local time. Local time leads ZULU by four and a half hours. I have two alarm clocks at my bed side, one that I have printed with a Sharpie on the clear plastic face "LOCAL" and the other that is a ZULU clock. This morning I was having dreams, which I generally never remember, I was watching an imaginary music video with the Beach Boys singing Surfing USA. I realized that if I am having a dream of this caliber, I must be over sleeping. I rushed to the shower, letting the non-potable water sting my eyes as I endeavored to clean my body, I even made time to blow dry my hair. Back at the fabulous B-hut, I started to dress for the day, slipping on my watch I realized that I was incorrectly operating on local time. I had three and a half hours until I needed to report.

Gainful employment

Happiness is gainful employment. In this last six month stretch of my deployment, I am finally put to work in a capacity aligned with my background experience. In addition, I will have learned some professionally relevant things by the end of this tour. Although a mobilization is indifferent in regard to my personal fulfillment, it does help that I feel positive about what I am doing. Purpose.

The winter gear, the hours, the walk

Last night I unpacked the light grey padded winter coat, I call it the Michelin Man jacket, others like Staypuff. It's a nice coat in these conditions because it protects against the cold winds.

I am still struggling with trying to work these long hours. My supervisor amazes me, she must get 5 hours of sleep a night. I am not quite there. 14 hours seems to be an average work day. I find it extremely difficult to be at a desk for this long.

I am venturing out on my morning walk with shorts and a sweatshirt.

Settling in, again

I have been back for a couple of days. The weather here has been rather cold, accompanied by some rain, though this morning there are clear blue skies. I was admiring the austere beauty of the mountains, dusted with snow.

I have begun working in the same workspace with my colleagues, which was a departure from my previous state. The conditions are better, this will help me through the next six months. Many of the folks, mostly junior officers, have moved on. It is amazing how quickly personnel switched out in this context.

For the first time, I had lunch with many of my colleagues yesterday. It was rib day at the BBQ DFAC. A thrill, of course. Generally it was a pleasant affair, however, I still contend that dining with those whom you work can be a bore. There is a vein of bitchiness that I am not too fond of in my work group. Keeping a professional distance will be difficult.

I was vaccinated for H1N1 yesterday. This was compulsory.

Thanks to the positive home influences, I have been able to enjoy my double packets of Emergen-C. A care package that I had sent myself from Florida contained skin lotion, Emergen-C and some greens replacement powder. The spirulina enhanced powder is tasty, it reminds my of Schav, a sour green soup that I used to chug when I was in high school. Acquired taste.

I remember the morning that I sent that package to myself from beautiful Long Boat Key (Sarasota) Florida. I was in my uniform, on my way to the airport, but I needed to catch breakfast and the post office on the way. An older white affluent resort neighborhood, Sarasota has a lot of patriotic residents. There was a lot of "thank you for your service" as I was standing in line at the post office. And because this older generation just says what they want, one man beheld me in my ACUs and said "look at you in your little outfit!" Thanks, Bub. It was well intentioned. But when people did say their thank you's, it made me twinge with a bit of emotion. It was difficult leaving the U.S. to willfully go back to Afghanistan for another six months.

Ft Hood Tragedy

As I am standing by for my flight to Afghanistan, I am disgusted by the the news of the shootings at Fort Hood. What a disgrace that this was done by an Army officer (with an Muslim name, I might add), in a deployment processing center. Authorities have indicated that this was not a terrorist plot, though I am sure the terrorists are delighted by the news of this event. Apparently Major Nadal Hasan was having a bad day because he was being deployed again. Thanks for sharing, Sir.

Gone fishing

Richard and I have been enjoying the blustery Florida weather. It is so terrific to have a pleasant change of scenery. I will revisit the blog when I return to Afghanistan.

Mustaches

Never fitting on females, and rarely on males. There are exceptions, however. Take Jason, a man whose face is merely a scaffolding, an enabling surface for a mustache. He shaved it soon after the compliments started flooding in, claiming that everyone saw the mustache, not the man. Then there are famous mustaches: Errol Flynn, Tom Selleck, etc. But to me the mustache is strongly associate with Navy Chief types. There is a LCDR whom I have been confusing for an E9, basically because the man has a mustache. He set me straight last night. What can I say? The mustache takes over. I pigeon holed him. I am reminded of Steve P, a contractor pilot type I met in Iraq, who grows a mustache inspired pattern on his face when he is out here working because his wife hates it. It's the only time he can run amok with his hirsute facial adornment. His wife is right on the money.

Pirates held after mistakenly targeting warship

Wow. Did this really happen?

The first cool day

Prior to today the days were very nice, warm and sunny, sometimes clear. Lately the nights have been cooler and now the relentless winds have picked up making today cool. I put on a thermal shirt under my blouse, the only USMC gear I was issued. I think tonight I will need to crack open my sleeping bag and winter gear. The honeymoon is over.

Butter soaked lobster

I was reading in the Star and Stripes today the results of a military-funded study. "The study sought to find out what types of foods were best for pilots if missions restricted when and what they could eat. University of North Dakota researchers tested student pilots and found that those who ate the fattiest foods had the quickest response times in mental tests. They made fewer mistakes when flying in tricky conditions. Those on a high carbohydrate diet came in a close second and high protein dieters were third."

Putting the pieces in place

My upcoming leave to Florida will be part business, part pleasure. The first five days are designed to be pure relaxation. After that, knowing myself, I will start to go mad, so I decided to take care of some training and job interviewing while in Tampa, for a day or so. Later on there are a few job-type engagements, while Richard goes to a business meeting in Miami. We are not sure where we are staying for the latter half of the trip. Either way, there is going to be a fair bit of driving on this adventure.

Reaching out to Jacksonville

I have been feeling a bit run down lately. Many people here have colds, but I won't go down without a fight. One thing that I enjoy about being run down is that my regular operating speed is knocked down a notch, allowing me to be a better observer and listener. I am too tired to move my jaw at its regular frequency.

While at work last night, I went outside to the latrine. For some strange reason, in my state of being slow and needing to go to the bathroom, there was someone standing in my way starting a conversation with me about the fact that I am a Navy person wearing ACUs, and how he had worn them on a previous tour, blah, blah, blah. I considered excusing myself to go to the bathroom. He now wore a flight suit, he explained that he is on a rotation out of Jacksonville... "Did you say Jacksonville?" I asked. Well, then that's very interesting...

I have been considering visiting Jacksonville during my R&R for a couple of reasons. Jacksonville is a big Navy town. In my application for a recall to active duty I listed JAX as one of my places of interest to be stationed. I really didn't want to go up there without having someone to meet... without some intent. Jacksonville can also be a destination for some ADSW orders as a reservist. From an online perspective I was not seeing a lot of civilian jobs offered in JAX, compared to Tampa. Tampa abounds with opportunity. Well, the pilot who was preventing me from going to the bathroom, walked me right over to his work area and made some introductions. I was referred to someone's boss to meet when I travel to JAX.

Boot's take

Max Boot's September 28th article in the Los Angeles Times takes the position that we cannot downsize to success in Afghanistan, citing that Israel's use of a smaller strategy (high tech weapons, special forces) was a failure... witness Hamas controlling Gaza, Hezbollah controlling southern Lebanon. General McChrystal writes that without more force, failure is a likely result- failure is defined as Afghanistan becoming a terrorist haven. So what do you really think, Mr. Obama?

Some Navy types

It so happened that Rick and Kim are two Navy types that were available for lunch at the DFAC BBQ tent. I have seen them on the MWR porch in the morning when I am drinking my Emergen-C dosed water and deliberating whether or not to take out the PTGB. As individual augmentees (IAs) we discussed some of the issues specific to our situations, like being reassigned (and other manning issues), feeling isolated, and living in an Army world. It was great to swap stories with these sailors.

"You're a good peddler."

I was getting ready for a predinner spin on the PTGB, sitting on the front porch of the MWR building, inspecting my shoe for a pebble, guzzling down my Emergen-C laden water. TJ, staying on one more day here, seemed very interested in knowing if I had finished my ride on the PTGB. I was wondering if he wanted to take her out for a spin. I told him I was about to go do the loop, and he asked if he could come along, he had his own bike. He opened up a canvas bag and proceeded to assemble his bike! He mentioned that he cycles for TREK (a serious cyclist), spouting information about time trials, custom made cycling shoes, and (get this) bicycle holsters. It was great having company out there on the loop. My time was improved thanks to the company. And what did this pro-cyclist have to say to me about the experience? "You're a good peddler." That was fun!

Mosquito bite

Lately it has been unseasonably hot. We had cooler weather earlier, I felt confident that I could go off my malaria meds (Doxy). After a late afternoon spin on the PTGB yesterday, I noticed a mosquito bite at the outboard end of the crease where my right arm bends. Horrors! I spoke to the guards, asking them if they ever get mosquito bites and if they are taking their Doxy. Yes, on mosquito bites, but no, they don't take the meds. As a friend of mine stated, "Where do they think you are Guadalcanal?" There were two malarial deaths here this year, I am told. Wish me luck!

I cannot account for my happiness

Why am I so happy? I have been a complete nerd all day, working diligently. I live in a plywood cubicle. I am not nearly as social as I should be. I am away from loved ones. I miss dear friends. I work in a remote dark corner. I shower in a low privacy environment. I sleep in a low privacy environment. I eat in a low privacy environment. People call me Ensign. I just can't explain it.

Fiction

I have always liked the format of those Reader's Digest books. Years ago that is how I came to read Papillon. There are new fangled versions of this, compiled by Reader's Digest but they don't use the words Reader's Digest on the cover. These compilations seem a little "softer" than the older compilations. I am not a big fan of fiction, but that is what the MWR offers, and I am happy to have a change in routine. It has been pretty warm here for the last two mornings, so I am less inclined to hop on the PTGB. I don my royal blue Piggly Wiggly t-shirt, shorts and flip flops and read on the front porch of the MWR building. Sitting there has that resort feeling, with the mountains in the background.

Ideal haircut

Today I decided to get a haircut, just a trim. I was waiting in the hair washing area with my stylist who never uttered a word, besides "haircut." It took me a while to absorb the details of the scenario before me. A man was in the chair for a shampoo, I observed he was completely bald. I told him I would blog about that. I have never seen that before, but it does make sense, I love a good scalp massage... slackens the jaw. It turns out that I received a top notch trim and a blow dry, a rare indulgence for me. Even though I needed to put my hair back up right after the experience, it gave me an appreciation for my hair and my innate desire to have a personal hair dresser.

Smoked meat market

This morning I wasn't really up for a spin on the the PTGB, so I decided to walk to the exchange. I considered a haircut but there was a 45 minute wait. I walked to the back of the exchange and bought a cup of tea (a two-bagger) from Green Beans, and sat outside under the shaded area with picnic tables, lined with mostly young smokers. People just watch the world go by there. No one disquises the fact that they are checking you out. There aren't many places like this on the base. After my tea, I went to the exchange and purchased a vat of Queen Helene Cocoa Butter Creme. This is a lifesaver for my skin. I immediatedly applied it to my face and legs after I left the store. I walked north to the BBQ DFAC and had some BBQ chicken. Ribs are apparently what this DFAC is known for, and that's what I had yesterday. This time I had company, I met a nice pilot from Maine, former Navy. He shared with me that Jacksonville may be a good area for me to check out when I go on leave.

The BBQ Bistro

I finally visited the tented BBQ DFAC. It was one of the better meals -- (breakfast to me, lunch to mostly everyone else)-- I have had since I have been here: BBQ pork ribs, no sauce. It reminded me of the Bistro type DFAC in Iraq, but lacking in compelling company. I have been trying to add more variation to my routine, like going to different DFACs. Bonus feature: I parked the PTGB outside and it was there when I returned. I had my strong hot tea in hand while sitting outside on one of a few large concrete blocks, blocks with rebar loops sticking out of the sides. There I sat enjoying my morning tea, in my Navy PT gear, enjoying the fact that someone had painted these modest, stenciled words on the side of the concrete: GO NAVY.

Upcoming R&R

Would you believe that I get 18 days leave in mid October? I will be traveling to Florida, mostly in the Tampa area. Richard will be joining me there and we will be looking at the area as a likely place to move. I will also be interviewing/kicking tires on the job front. Alma asked me what sights I wanted to take in. I'm thinking a really deep bath tub. I miss soaking in a bath tub. That is where I do some of my best thinking. I am looking forward to the humidity in Florida, the Afghanistan climate really dries up my skin. I am starting to look my age out here! The R&R comes at a good time in regard to my work here. My dear friend Connecticut Z emailed me today, when he left for home he stopped off in Florida to visit with Jay, the cool table founder. That's not such a bad idea.

Sprucing up the palace

The cubicle where I sleep came with a DVD player and a small television. I set it up last night and played a terrific Frank Sinatra CD, left by the previous tenant, featuring a beloved tune with special meaning "Let's Get Away from it All." I sat on my bed with a big grin on my face with my headphones on. The previous tenant also left a flick "The Renditon" which looks like fun. I organized the cubicle a bit, which is a litte difficult becasue the PTGB takes up a chunk of the real estate.

"Give me money!"

This is what the enchanting local shepherd children call out from the other side of the cyclone fence as I am cycling by on the pink tactical girl bike. Folks tell me they also throw stones. What dears. Could this be a metaphor?

Flatbed gourmet

Bleary eyed, I decided to take a break last night. While walking amongst the B Huts, I noticed that the Motor Pool garage light was still on. Behold! It was Texan D lining up the ingredients for his secret wing sauce on the back of a flat bed truck. A lady in Georgia gave him the recipe, I will share it with you. I observed Texan D put a goodly portion of butter (where did he find that?) into a pyrex bowl, an insane amount of Ranch seasoning, Texas Pete's Hot Sauce, lemon juice, and garlic powder. He mixed it, microwaved it until "it separated." He had collected a number of buffalo wings from the DFAC, and slathered the wings in the sauce. I tried two. The pucker factor was quite high.

Gossiping with Alma

One notable aspect about this mobilization is the acceleration at which one makes friends. (It's akin to "speed dating", the gist here is within the first 5 minutes of meeting someone, you can determine whether they are compatible.) Alma and I really haven't known each other for very long, but we instant message (IM) like a house on fire. She is a critical comms node.

Ran into Senior Chief R

I ran into Senior on my way to lunch today. She is from my unit back in California. Many members of my unit are dispersed as individual augmentees throughout Iraq and Afghanistan, and Tampa for the really lucky folks. It was heartening to chat with Senior. She's a great influence and I wish her luck on her assignment. She just finished her training at Fort Jackson/Udari Range and remarked that no one really talks about how tough the training was. It's probably because people block it out. That's why I am blogging about my tour, much of this stuff is so fleeting.

PTGB flat

This morning I woke to discover the front tire of the bike was flat. I took the tire over to the Motor Pool, and there I met Texan D, who took command and control of the tire situation. Texan D utilized Fix-a-Flat to mend the stem leak. What a champ. I will keep my fingers crossed. Texan D, a fellow that likes food, recommended the Friday surf and turf at some new swanky DFAC across base. I will try to make it happen.

New holster

Today Kentucky B, in Southern gentlemanly fashion, accompanied me to the Exhange. I needed to purchase a new holster as the one I was issued is cumbersome, wrapping around my right thigh. As I walk, I keep clocking my thumb on the pistol butt. There were two options of interest- the belt or the shoulder option. I opted for the shoulder style. It is made of Afghan leather and stamped so. A keep sake.

Kentucky B

Kentucky B is a friendly sort. He and his crew are here to upgrade farming infrastructure. Apparently when the Russians (Soviets) were here, the native farming practices were lost. They even have a vet with them. You can learn more about their efforts at this link.

I invited myself to their table at dinner, trying to gel with these fellows from Kentucky. Kentucky B mentioned that when he gets back home, he is looking to move to a more upbeat, active place outside of Kentucky. He described Kentucky as impoverished.

Precious cargo/Monthiverssary

I have arrived at my new ULTDUSTA with my pink tactical girl bike and eight other bags. This time around I will have a firmer mattress and a cubicled bedroom with a blanket for a door. It took me a couple of days to get here, but I had three beers along the way and a few swims in a beautiful pool. I went to the DFAC here and met two Safety guys, M and Malaria G. I introduced them to the cool table concept. They were a lot of fun and we walked after dinner, while they showed me around the place. I cannot wait to reassemble the pink tactical girl bike and explore the area. Malaria G tells me there is an informal cycling group called Jihad Garage.

This is my third month OCONUS BOG (boots on ground).

Saturday is Mongolian Night

I joined the cool table pack for a remote dining experience at a DFAC with authentic metal flatware and hard plastic plates for the weekly treat known as Mongolian BBQ. I am a novice at the art, creating for myself a Sodium Surprise, featuring my old Iraq stand-by chicken. Waiting in line for the SERKA/KBR guys to cook up these Mongolian concoctions, Connecticut Z and I were talking about things Connecticut. Like Carvel Ice Cream. Still unresolved from earlier today: the grape vines featured in the state's flag, what country/countries are they from? The vines stand for the first settlements of English people who began to move from Massachusetts in the 1630's. These settlements were thought of as grapevines that had been transplanted, according to 50 states.com Qui Transtulit Sustinet.

We all road back in the back of a pick up truck. It was great fun.

Rotting testicles?

Like trench foot, or so Steve contended in his lunch time defense of why many pilots do not wear conventional briefs. A word to the wise about the zippered flight suit: Wear boxers.

Star knot

Richard, the ultimate Boatswain's mate, has mastered the star knot, and he has emailed me the proof. The star knot is a toughy and Richard has cracked the code.

McMunn does it again

Last night at dinner, there was a news feature with woman's talking head, with her name and title "housewife." I was prompted to ask Alabama's own MSgt McMunn, "Master Sargeant, what is a housewife?" In that Alabama drawl he responded, "It's kind of like a house pet," adding that a pet was happier to see you when you got home.

In the background on the news there was a story of the PETA organization's campaign against McDonald's cruel methods of processing chickens. I noted to McMunn that a housewife would come in handy killing chickens for the household. McMunn responded that the only time you would see a housewife and a chicken is if it were deep fried in front of her at the table.

Secret Squirrel patch

Yesterday, as I was walking back to the compound, a vehicle pulled over to the side of the road. To my surprise it was three members of the cool table. They offered me a ride back, which I accepted. CMSgt R was driving and he handed me a Secret Squirrel patch. I'll note here that many of the cool table crowd wear this patch and he had no doubt heard that I wanted a patch too. I squarely planted a loud kiss on his cheek. He had no choice in the matter. His entire bald head blushed.

Epidurals and tramp stamps

Tonight I met Big Ed and N. Connecticut Z was there as well. Connecticut Z and I have been struggling with Jay's absence. In fact, we started the cool table session out by talking about Jay. That's just part of our recovery, acknowledging that we have a problem. Bravely, we segued to the topic of tatoos, then piercings, and the fact that you cannot get an epidural if you have a tramp stamp. It's all part of the healing that's going on at the cool table.

The cool table

I typically ask if I may sit at the cool table, as a gag of course. There is a group of folks here, folks outside my lane, pilots and such, who are friends to me. Midnight rations (mid rats) is the time when the cool table convenes. I think one of the points here is that I do not work with the cool table people. Speaking with them and laughing with them is the highpoint to my day. None of the political infighting baggage, just good people. One and all. I have spoken of some of them individually, such as the two Bills and Jay. Today Jay took off to go back home. Jay is a great story teller and a character, and the heart of the cool table. We shall muddle on without him.

GSE

My nutritionally savvy aunt sent me a package with some high quality toiletry items, dried fruit and a substance called GSE. Apparently this extract of grapefruit is a quaternary ammonium compound that can be used diluted as a mouthwash or a sterlizer.

Under Consideration: Recall to Extended Active Duty

I have been mulling over my job prospects when I return. One of these options is going Big Navy. What a concept: A sea tour, not only that, I would move to a new location. San Diego? Mayport ? Norfolk? Japan?

Monthiverssary

I am in the Monday Brunch of my tour. I am grateful for the wonderful Body Shop Vitamin E and other skin products sent to me by my mother. I have been a little under the weather lately, so I had no reservations devouring those cookies she packed. That enabled me to skip a meal and head straight for bed. I wondered if high dosages of sugar have an antibiotic affect.

"My wife doesn't understand me."

Some think Iraq is a wonderful place to start a romance. Married or not, supervisor or subordinate. What a mess. Some people find that regular deployments are a great way to avoid a less than optimal marriage. Even though certain situations do not meet the strict definition of fraternization, these do still has a negative impact on a command. Many adopt the attitude that the bad apples will rotate out soon enough.

A hug for Richard

Three cheers for my man, Richard. Richard has been so supportive of me out here. He is always there with one witty statement or another. I just plain like the guy. And one heck of a swing dancer.

Today Richard told me a story about how he acquired his new bicycle. He bartered two hours of labor for a mountain bike from someone who needed things moved from her garage. What a concept. I am glad he was able to hold on to his carbon credits.

Cooperative Extension

Meeting Tennessee Luke today was a real treat. He shared with me the beauty of the Cooperative Extension. Luke is a retired police officer with land that he has classified (via the Cooperative Extension) as agricultural land. By classifying his operation as a farm, he has worked out a tax savings strategy, and gets to have a small herd of cattle. "This is not a money maker, it's a money loser." I mentioned this to Alabama's own Master Sargeant McMunn, and he seemed on board with the concept: "Yeah, I've been thinking about doing that." Tennessee Luke mentioned that there is a market for goats given the influx of Middle Easterners in his parts.

Remember sparklers?

The Fourth of July has come and gone here. There were some rumors of beer. Very cruel rumors of beer. I may just have a near beer tonight to celebrate. Get out and enjoy the day!

Camel spiders and cobras

I was chatting with one of the Bills tonight, a fellow named Caveman, and another guy named Jay. Jay is deathly afraid of snakes, and proceeded with a littany of snake and rat stories that delighted the entire table. Listening to these stories, I found myself scratching my scalp and wiggling in my chair. Urban legends of camel spider bites to the spine and a long drawn out affair involving a moving refridgerator (caused by a rattle snake in Arizona), Jay certainly was a delight. Then Jay mentioned that a cobra was found "out there." He was referring to the place where I cycle. Thanks, Jay.

The roof of 22 Gia Long Street

I am haunted by this image. What will be the iconic image that will represent the U.S. withdrawal from Iraq? Will the image be recorded tomorrow or fifteen years from now? In this age of twitter, perhaps there will not be an image, but a multimedia pastiche. Is that memorable? If there is not one meaningful image to recall, how will people remember?

Have you heard? Michael Jackson died.

The news has featured notable celebrity deaths of late, and the birth of a symbol.

Fellowship with strangers

It is funny how hanging out with some folks whom you have never met can be so much fun. I went to the DFAC (dining facility) on an off time just to have a cup of tea. Met up with two fellows named Bill. I ended up laughing with them as I listened to their stories. It's always great to laugh.

Tonight I sat down with Alabama's own Air Force Master Sargeant McMunn. He's a real fan of the pecan pie here. I asked him what that goo underneath the pecans was. "That's the pie part," he responded. He also shared with me that there is a pinto bean pecan pie recipe (scroll to the bottom if you hit the link) that he says tastes just like pecan pie. Who knew.

Monthiverssary

I am 1/12th done with my time in country. A colleague measures his time as if it were a seven day week, even though he has been here for a number of months. He is leaving in August and considers that he is in the Friday portion of his tour. I am obsessed with any way of marking my time because my sense of time is so warped by a seven day work schedule. Consider this my Monday morning breakfast.

Silent night

There is a certain peace that a sand storm brings, similar to the solitude of freshly fallen snow. With the sand in the air, one has no choice but to slow down. Green beaconing light fixtures posted at the ends of wooden foot bridges suddenly become relevant as you walk to your destination. "Have I passed it?" Slogging on gravel underfoot, flanked by concrete t-walls, and the constancy of the wind, reminiscent of a snow drift. The only sounds you hear are the wind punctuated by the diesel generators that dot the way.

Pink tactical girl bike

For the last few nights when I finish my shift (23:00), I have been riding the pink tactical girl bike out by the flight line. There is a very smooth service road that allows one to get a four mile ride in. Even though the air is particulate, it is stil a pleasure to get out there. This is the only time of day when it is cool enough to exercise.

I made the aquaintance of a Sargeant Major who was kind enough to put air in the fat tires of the pink tactical girl bike, not only that, he showed me the ropes on how to reach the service raod. Frank certainly is a crusty old Sargeant Major. He took his bike out with me and we had a swell time. Frank has been in the Army/Army Reserve for 33 years. This is his fourth tour. Every now and again I think that I will swing by to catch a ride with Frank. He knocks off around midnight.

The knives are out

Why do certain colleagues feel the need to throw others under the bus? It's almost like a tourette syndrome affect with some folks. There is nothing worse than witnessing this when it is shared among a group. It's like a dirty joke that offends a percentage of the audience.

One day bleeds into another

If you were to ask me what days it is, I simply could not tell you. I could tell you the date, but not the day. Microsoft's Outlook Calendar tells me when to go to a meeting, when my folks are taking leave, etc. When you are at it everyday, one day just bleeds into another.

Another necessity is the white board. The white board documents what needs to be remembered but simply cannot be housed in my mind with reliable results. It reminds myself that I have communicated this to all and issues are still outstanding. It keeps me honest. It reminds me what the original message was, without my mind spinning the item into an altered priority.

The ultimate job fair

ULTDUSTA is the ultimate job fair, the ultimate networking opportunity. This may seem a bit odd to some, but this is a joint force environment, including contractors, etc., which provides an opportunity to learn about jobs first hand, jobs that you might have only read about. This is the mixer, the chance to get to know the folks with the "Hello my Name is" badge. You are building a reputation and a possible future with an affiliation started here. This is good news considering the 9.4% unemployment in the U.S.

One of my favorite colleagues here is an Air Force major who is a wonderful story teller and a consumate networker. He has, much like one of my esteemed cyber-warriors, figured out how to creatively harvest opportunites in the military in a manner both beneficial to mission and career sustainability.

Night Rider

Night is when you can actually walk around upright and think about matters other than the weather. Iraqis, I have learned, will sleep on their roofs or in their backyard to escape the heat indoors.

An aspect of military culture is PT (physical training). I enjoy PT as much as the next person, but it does get monotonous. There are some folks who strap on their general issue helmet light (LED) and tool around on a bicycle. So that's my latest aspiration, to pick up a bike at the exchange.

Oasis

Today I had the opportunity to go swimming. The pool is not at all convenient to visit but it was well worth it. The pool was less than three feet on the shallow end and fourteen feet on the deep end. The interior was lined with aqua tiles three inches by four inches. I mention this because I have never seen a pool like this. The pool was constructed during the Saddam Hussein era. Remarkably, there was a female locker room original to the building.

Ultimate Duty Station: Iraq

Since my last post on the blog, I have been traveling to my destination and training in my new position. The training has occurred during the night shift, which is very disorienting. At the beginning of my shift, I greet folks with a "Good Morning" in the middle of the night. I will soon be transitioning to the day shift. I have discovered that a key advantage to the night shift is the darkness and cooler temperatures. Speaking to a day shift colleague at lunch, I asked him if he has gotten used to the midday 113 degree temperatures. "Does anyone get used to a cigarette burning your skin every day?" he responded.

Standing by to stand by, continued

Richard is going to land in a few minutes and we will be touring the Carolina coast. We will be staying with the Captain at the Bed and Biscuit in Beaufort.

Standing by to stand by

My Virginia visit with my mother last week included a visit to the Madison plantation (Montpelier), the Jefferson plantation (Monticello) and the Confederate States "White House" in Richmond, the home of Jefferson Davis. The best house tour was the White House of the Confederacy, pictured here. The tour guide was a historian who fielded all questions, from decor to history, with proficiency. The house was never owned by the Confederacy itself, but leased from the Commonwealth of Virginia. This house represents the reason for attacks on Richmond by the Union during the Civil War.

And so the lap of luxury continues. While I have been attending training, our group has had weekends free. My mother was kind enough to lend me her mountain bike so that I can explore this fine base in my free time. I need the exercise and the weather has been beautiful. I golfed 9 holes yesterday with a colleague and his folks. His dad was in the Air Force, so you know he was a superb golfer.

The lap of luxury

I have shifted my location to Fort Bragg for specific training. Prior to the training the group has been let loose on some leave. I have taken this opportunity to visit my mother in the Richmond area. I titled this posting the lap of luxury because of the stark contrast of my living quarters in South Carolina versus my current berthing in North Carolina.

A complicated game of telephone

Today at Fort Jackson we participated in our final practical training evolution, a convoy involving 8 humvees. The training was very interesting from a communications and coordination standpoint. I wish that we had the opportunity to cover further convoy operations for a couple of days. Some of us will be in convoys in country, so we might have benefitted from further convoy training. Many of my shipmates here will be continuing their range and convoy training in Kuwait, living in coed tents without showers in the desert for a handful of days. I will not be joining them. I will be traveling to North Carolina for some further training specific to my job. I appreciate all the coordination by Alpha Company at Camp McGrady in order to make this convoy training happen.

Land Navigation 101

Saturday morning was spent plotting out coordinates on a map and determining the azimuths (bearings) from one point to another. We figured in the 5 degree declination using the lensatic compass. One person on the team paced out our course and bearing every 100 meters, while the rest of us were spead out sweeping the area for the waypoints that we were assigned. I have certainly plotted coordinates in the past but I never had the field experience finding specified coordinates in the Carolina woods. Great experience.

Super Hooah!

The last few days here at Fort Jackson have been very full. Yesterday I qualified on the M16 rifle. This simply means that I shot a bunch of pop up targets reasonably well. I have been fortunate that my firing line has been going first for the last few days.

Today was very enjoyable. Alpha Company had a very early start so that we could fire the M9 on the range in low light conditions. This was followed by a M16 flex fire exercise, then a stress fire. The flex fire exercise is done with the M16, at a relatively close range. Most of the firing positions approached the target starting from a side position or with your back facing the target. The stress fire is a combat stress M16 firing exercise that included running up to different targets.

After that, we fired the M249 (AKA "Saw"), the M240B and a Browning M2 50 caliber.

Later that day some of us went to the the HEAT trainer. This is a humvee rollover simulator. I have rolled over (in slow motion) in the simulator twice. The point of this exercise is the understand how to escape from the vehicle. It was briefly physically demanding at times. I noted that some of the dirt from the vehicle floor ended up in my mouth during the rollover.

"Mr. E"

I would be remiss if I did not pay homage to the MRE (Meal, Ready to Eat). I recall an annual training in South Korea a couple of years ago when someone cracked open an MRE in jest. It was a novelty then, but a reality for me now. When Company A is out shooting at the range for the day, the MRE is our lunch. If you are at all curious, you could buy a box full of them for your survival kit at home. Might I recommend the entree entitled "Chicken breast fillet seasoned, grilled, chunked and formed (smoke flavor added)?" It is served with "crackers, vegetable", followed by cherry blueberry cobbler and short bread cookies.

Breathe, come to the bottom of the breath, then fire

One of the challenging things for me is to time my breathing correctly when firing the M16 rifle. I am improving and the instruction is very helpful. I realize that one of my key character traits (impatience) comes into play here. Alternatively, the M9 (pictured here) is more my speed. I love firing this thing. It's fun and it's immediate. The body armor adds another layer of complexity to the experience.

Pat head, rub belly

My recent training involves wearing a ballistic load-bearing vest with heavy strike face inserts, one example is pictured here. The plates surround the torso area. I would estimate that the small size vest weighs fifty pounds. Wearing such gear is exhausting in this early stage of training .

The red tent

Here at Fort Jackson I am in open bay berthing. This translates to a barracks, not pictured, with bunk beds ("racks") accomodating 40 females presently. This also translates to 40 females synchronizing their menstral periods. But there are a few smart ones among us, myself excepted, who have taken advantage of "Depo". Apparently medical has an injection, a hormone blend that eliminates the menstrual period. This injection is given every three months for up to a two year timeframe. The risk here is a future likelihood of decreased bone density, and (get this) possible increased cramping once mensing resumes. No thanks.

Scab, anyone?

The small pox vaccine is a medical requirement going overseas. I was "pricked" yesterday. I have a feeling that my body will heal too quickly. The desired process takes about a month of pusing then scabbing.

White coat hypertension

Here in Port Hueneme, a higher tenure servicemember in my processing group has fallen prey to this phenomenon his entire life. He is over the allowable blood pressure threshold after multiple readings and will not be able to go forward with his mobilization. My thoughts are with him as he heads back home next week.